Sigh, and I used to "occasionally step out" to things like salsa dancing and pool shooting, but this time I mean occasionally stepping out of blogland. Apologies for gaps in posting! I had much bigger plans for Halloween, and have a few candy and marshmallow ideas that will have to wait until next year, as I haven't been able to get them up here.
Blogging is a bizarre universe, mostly public, sort of personal, with a tinge of anonymity. I keep my personal life largely separate from my blog, because who wants to hear about my trials and tribulations when trying to read about cookies and marshmallows? But then, I've met so many friends blogging, I mean real friends, kind and thoughtful and interested, it turns that notion a bit upside down.
I have alluded to my very, very long history with illness (about 20 years now, and I just turned 39, as in, this week I turned 39, though I am not able to celebrate quite yet), and some of you may remember my hospital stay back in June. My history includes many battles, too numerous to list here, and outright wars. I've had multiple major surgeries, even lost a couple organs (1 and 1/3 organs to be exact), and have been on death's door on more than a few occasions. Before I started blogging, if you googled my name, this article was the first to appear. I wrote this many years ago for the journal, having no idea it would end up online, and some situations have changed, not to mention I now groan at the immaturity of my writing! And it's clearly dated. I mention Britney Spears. But it's a good snapshot of my history, if you have the stomach for it. (Warning: Don't click the link if you don't have the stomach for it!)
This year has been the battle to have another child. My four-year old is a beautiful medical miracle, and I truly hoped, and even kind of believed, this time around would go as smoothly. It has not. I've had a difficult struggle, one that includes a hospital stay, a death scare, and some devastating reports. News delivered on top of an even bigger tragedy for my family, as someone very close to my immediate family has passed away this week, too early to leave this world with all the love and prospects he had around him. The gloom of both events has just been too big to ignore.
I have been maintaining my Edible Crafts blog as usual. I'll be back next week with some new ideas for Thanksgiving, as well as some links to more giveaways and fun things. (Like me on TV, more on that fright-inducing event later.)
Thank you all for your patience!
meaghan
Welcome to Chic Cookies' blog, companion & friend to my store, chiccookiekits.com. You'll find tips, techniques and advice on cookie decorating, whether you are using one of my kits or just covered in flour, confused. (You just might also find other bake-ish, crafty things I find fascinating.)
Oct 29, 2011
51 comments:
Thank you for your comments! While I may not be able to respond to every single comment, know that I read, ponder and appreciate each and every one.
If you ask a question in a comment, I will contact you directly if you have an email attached to your ID or if you leave me your email in the comment. Otherwise, I will answer by leaving a comment in the same place you left a question, so be sure to check back. Or, contact me via email.
Due to spam ads for viagra and medicine I don't need, I now moderate comments, so it may take up to a day for your comment to appear, depending on how crazy my day is. (I may suspend this during giveaways.)
Sugar hugs to you and your family. I truly hope everything gets better.
ReplyDeleteHi Meaghan! I have not read the article yet but just wanted to say I am so sorry for all your health problems...I cannot believe all the other cookie work you do on top of health issues!!! AMAZING. I just finished my second round of IVF with ICSi and PGD, to end up with a chemical. I am sure you know all the lingo as well, so I wont explain i t:)I begin again soon. I wish you well on your journey for a second child...it sucks to have fertility problems and it sounds like you have so much other to deal with. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThank you both! Yes, Robin, we in our group are well versed in lots o' high tech lingo, aren't we?? And you know the same frustration. All the best to YOU, too!
ReplyDeleteOh sweetie - I just read your first post and I can't believe the suffering you have had to experience. To bring us all such joy and light in the form of sugary goodness after having gone through all of that makes you one incredibly special person!
ReplyDeleteYou owe us nothing. You do what you need to do to make yourself whole AND happy. We are FANS and we will be here when you get back.
Be well and know that we are out here in the multiverse sending good thoughts and prayers and sugary wishes your way.
Sending you hugs and love Meaghan. You are a strong woman who has been through so much. I'll look forward to seeing you back in the sweets seat when you're able.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear this Meaghan and about the struggles you have had. I send lots of positive thoughts, energy and support your way. I am thinking of you and your family and wishing the best for all of you. Lorraine <3
ReplyDeleteHi Meaghan...I just read the article and my heart goes out to you for all that you have been through. I was stunned to read it and had to take a break in the middle. You are an amazing fighter. I had stomach surgery 3 weeks ago and was miserable for the 3 days in the hospital. Debilitating nausea is not fun. My situation was only just a drop in the ocean compared to what you went through. You are beyond strong and brave! Thanks for sharing and I wish you all the best in health and in life! Love your beautiful picture!
ReplyDeleteMeaghan...What can I say that you have not already felt, read or heard from someone else. Simply my heart is wrapped in your situation and I feel for you so much. I wished you would just catch a frickin break. Chin up sweet one. Big Hugs Trisha
ReplyDeleteMeaghan,
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts and prayers are with you. You are a brave and amazing woman and I am in awe of your strength.
Post when you can. We are all supportive of you, and will be here whenever you return.
Hi Meaghan,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I would like to apologize if my writting it's not completelly correct.
I discovered your blog searching for recipes and read about your health issues, I didn't want to leave without telling you something.
My dad just survived a pancreatic cancer, while he was in hospital every one told us he was going to die even when he was home doctors keep telling us we shouldn't have hope about him, that pancreatic cancer was mortal in every single case but do you know what? we never lost hope, this November will be a year since he had surgery and his doctor has said it's a miracle, he's completely clean and in goog health, eve3ry single day he seems to be better.
After all we have gone through, I still keep thinking that hope it's the last thing you can loose, maybe life is twisted most of the times but at the end no mather how dark it's the sky, finally the sun comes out.
Kisses from Spain.
Your story is inspiring that you are so successful and have so much drive even with everything you have gone through. Last year I had emergency Cole Tony and have had 5 surgeries since up to last week. I want to have a child and know it will be difiict with the amount of scarring. I would love to hear more about your story and will continue to pray for you and your family! Stay strong, you are an inspiration!
ReplyDeleteDear Meaghan, I've so far been an occasional visitor to your blog, admiring your wonderful confections, but, while far removed, felt moved to write after reading your earlier article. I've seen how blogging brings together a vast range of people, all with their own aspirations for what they share, or other parts of their lives that it gives them strength and a temporary distraction to get through. I so admire your tenacity and sheer will in the face of what I can't imagine, but your articulateness, then and now, are an inspiration for me right now, and a reminder of how much there is to be grateful for that can sometimes be overlooked when right in front of us. Wishing you all good thoughts and an end to the hurt.
ReplyDeleteMeaghan,
ReplyDeleteI'll be sending all my good energy your way. If I can help in any way please let me know.
Hugs to you and your lovely family,
Karen
You are officially the most courageous person I know! I've never met you Meaghan, but I love you! Praying for physical and emotional healing for you and your family.
ReplyDeletexxoo
My love and prayers to you Meaghan. I know we've never met but my heart aches for you. I have many friends who are having trouble conceiving and I see their daily (hourly) longing and pain. You have so much else going on even on top of this and I can only imagine what a load it is to bear. What a sweet post- and I hope you just take as much time as you need. And know that your true "internet friends" will be right here waiting for you on the other side. No matter what. Or when. {{hugs}} ♥- K
ReplyDeleteMeaghan, if there is anything we can do besides send you good thoughts, best wishes and good energy your way please let us know. You are an amazing person and the best mom. I'm so sorry you are having such a hard time.
ReplyDeleteMeaghan, I'm praying for your health, and for you and your family as well... take care!
ReplyDeleteMy best wishes to you!!!, i admire your strenght to gor through so much for so long, many (i think i include myself) woul have just quit at the first bump in the road, but you chose the hardest and bravest thing to do: fight for your dreams and what you want, even if your own boy is against you!
ReplyDeleteSincerely I wish you the best and hope everything turs out for the best, you are a very sweet woman and deserve to get the life you want.
Thank you so much for sharing with us all your great ideas, despite your health situation.... I really appreciate it! I finally went for it and made cookies with your recipe!, you made it sound so easy that i thought i could make them as well... and i could!, it has been a great way for me to relax and find peace.... thank you so much!!
XOXO from Perú
Anilú
You are a very strong woman! *hugz*
ReplyDeleteSending healing thoughts and prayers your way.
Meaghan, I'm sending you only the best of good healthy vibes, adorned with decorated cookies, of course, for good measure!
ReplyDeleteHey sweet Meaghan!
ReplyDeleteYour poor little body has been through so much. Most people would be curled up in a corner by now. But, look at you! You've triumphed!!!
I'll be keeping you in my prayers. ♥
We'll be here whether you post once a day or once a year.
Hola Meaghan,te sigo desde hace tiempo desde España, desgraciadamente mi inglés no es demasiado bueno pero espero que puedas entenderme con algún traductor de internet. Te deseo todo lo mejor, que te recuperes y que todo te vaya maravillosamente bien en la vida, me encanta tu blog y creo que eres una persona muy generosa porque compartes con todos nosotros tantas ideas maravillosas para deleitar a nuestras familias.
ReplyDeleteUn beso muy fuerte y un abrazo enorme desde España
Meaghan... PLEASE let me know if you need anything. I am so, so sorry that you are suffering.. that you have endured so many trials and tribulations. We are praying for you sweet girl!
ReplyDeleteThoughts are with you... And as someone else posted, whether it's a week from now or a year from now, we'll still be checking in for your wit and amazing creations.
ReplyDeleteI'm new to the blogging world and I still can not believe the support that I get from total strangers. So, from one stranger to another, take care of yourself and family. Take all the time you need to give and receive hugs from those around you. We'll still be here when you get back. Feel better soon.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry that your family just lost a beloved and very close friend and I'm sorry that the news from your reports were not what you were so hoping for.
ReplyDeleteI read your article. I knew you had severe medical issues from previous posts but I did not know to the extent. Having read your post and the article you wrote has left me with such a profound respect for your courageous indomitable spirit and inner strength.
You have overcome so many challenges that has tested you both physically and emotionally and you are without a doubt, so much more than the *sum of your parts*
Everyone would understand if you never posted here for some time to come and if they didn’t…well, too bad then. You need to take care of you and take time to nurture yourself for it has been a very busy, emotional and draining time for you these past several months. So, please take good care.
P.S. You wondered in your article if *they truly think about what exists at the border of mortality*
For me, it is Hope.
Wow. I had no idea you had such serious health issues and my heart is just aching for you. I read your blog regularly but rarely comment so I felt compelled to say that I really admire everything you have accomplished with all that going on. Amazing. My thoughts and prayers (and virtual hugs) are with you.
ReplyDeleteThank you all so so very much for your outpouring of support! And from all over the world. I tried to respond individually if your emails were attached to the comment, but if not, hopefully you will return here. Know that each of your comments I read carefully and thoughtfully, and each one helps my spirit. And that my thoughts go right back to all of you also dealing with similar angst and health woes. You are all amazing! What stuns me most about blogging are the human connections made through a computer. Guess we showed technology!
ReplyDeleteAshley, feel free to contact me directly at thedecoratedcookie@gmail.com, and I'll be happy to give you more details of my case! (hopefully hopeful, too, no negativity for you, my dear, as I know that all too well.)
Paula, I also emailed you personally, but you reminded me of what is important to grasp, that which I let go of this week. :)
Meaghan, I read your blog all the time even if I just lurk and rarely comment but right now I'm stepping out of the shadows to give you a whopping big hug. Good luck on your journey.
ReplyDeleteMeghan ~ I hope everything is ok, and we all understand taking a break...we will all be here waiting for you when you get back. xoxox
ReplyDeleteMeaghan your strength and spirit amaze me!!
ReplyDeleteSending lots and lots of hugs and prayers your way. I'm so sorry for your recent loss as well! {hugs}
Oh, Meaghan. What a story -- it is unimaginable. I am so sorry. I wish you the best and, while I hope to read good news, you should feel free to share the bad news and hard times too.
ReplyDeleteI've been following your blog for a while because your decorating skills astonish me and I can't tell you the squeal of joy I let out when I saw the cover of your new book (OMG - I have to make that cake.. HAVE.TO.) But I had no idea of your health problems before reading this post. All I can say is I'm even more amazed. I have 4 children.. which is ironic because I went through 7 years of infertility myself, so my heart goes out to you. To think you create these amazing treats, write a blog, have written books, ARE A MOTHER, on top of infertility and what appears to be a host of serious health problems. wow. I don't know how you do it, but you're an inspiration. I hope things get easier for you... I know first hand the heartache infertility causes... and can't imagine what it's like struggling with your health as you have. Yes, I'm just another anon on the interwebs, but thinking about you today. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteAnd to the newcomers, more thank yous!! Eek, 7 years then 0 to 4?? I hope you find time to sleep! :) And yeeeah, you're right. My husband insists the same thing, to stop being so hard on myself, I've done a lot!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about the loss in your family as well as your struggles with health and fertility. I personally believe that sometimes you just need to have a good cry(or several) so you can pick yourself up and keep inching along.
ReplyDeleteI'm including a link to a really powerful blog post. As I read your story it came to my mind.
http://bravegirlsclub.com/archives/2151
It is a bit of a tear jerker, just a warning.
Whatever your personal beliefs may be, I will be praying for you and thinking positive thoughts for you and your family.
Oh, Meaghan. I am so sorry for the loss you are dealing with and for the health issues that have compounded everything. I wish I could say some magic words that might make you feel better or find comfort. Having struggled for 14 years with fertility myself, I understand to a very small degree some of the challenges you face, and wish I lived next door so I could bring you dinner or clean your house or lend a shoulder to cry on. I appreciate so much the little blog/Facebook/Pinterest friendship we have forged and I'm sending vitual hugs, tears, and lots of love your way.
ReplyDeleteXOXO
~Jenifer
Hoping you will give yourself a hug and that life will hand you some happy breaks very soon. You've certainly shouldered and stomached WAY more than your share. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and still waiting here patiently when the sun comes out for you again. No matter how long. Thank you for sharing yourself with us and for being such an inspiration.
ReplyDeleteNot 0 to 4,exactly... I had my oldest, unwed, and unplanned (now 14), then fourteen miscarriages over 7 years, then conceived my second with fertility treatment, (now 6), my third the same way (now 4)... got divorced, and once again, unwed and unplanned and with ZERO compications, number four, who just turned one. Funny how life is, right?
ReplyDeleteAs horrible as those seven years were, I'm a better person, and a better mom for it. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right?
Sending you HUGE and heartfelt love, prayers and blessings from here here in INDIANA! Xoxoxxoxoxo
ReplyDeleteMeaghan, oh Meaghan! I read the article... I had no idea... You are such a strong and beautiful woman, inside and out - I wish I could reach through the internet and give you a big HUG!
ReplyDeleteSending you lots of love and prayers! xoxo
Meaghan, I read your article. I can't believe all that you have been through, and continue to go through! You are an amazing dynamo of a human being! Much LOVE to you my friend! My thoughts and prayers and a BIG HUG are with you, Meaghan. XO, Sue
ReplyDeleteBig hugs and well wishes sent your way... you are so generous to share all these ideas with us. I love your blog and follow it daily, and I'm sure we will all wait as long as we have to in order to see more yummy tips and tutorials. Take your time to heal :)
ReplyDeleteI believe I actually just felt the internet hugs. Amazing!
ReplyDeleteAnd your story is amazing Becky! Wow. I see a memoir in your future? :)
ReplyDeleteMeaghan, thank you for sharing your story with us. I am praying that you will be surrounded with peace and that you will soon have the joy of another child in your family.
ReplyDeleteYour story brought me to tears. I hope and wish and pray for you to be well. You are so incredibly strong and I know your story has inspired many to keep moving forward. My best to you...
ReplyDeleteYour positive energy comes through in your writing, as well as, your amazing confection creations and I am sure it is what has gotten you through such traumatic times. The strength and courage you have shown in the face of adversity is truly inspiring and my prayers go out to you on your journey to expand your family. I am continually in awe of your beautiful sweets and am sure your passion for your family and for creating edible art has been a driving force in your continued recovery. I sure find that doing what I love for people I love keeps me energized and motivated. While I am certain that over the last year while you created recipes and wrote your book, you were incredibly excited, but I am also quite certain that it took it's toll on you. It is exhausting and we definitely understand that you need time for yourself. Blogging is incredibly time consuming and can easily take away from everyday life. Take time to laugh with your daughter and to take care of yourself. We'll be here every time you post something new, even if that doesn't happen as often as you'd like.
ReplyDeleteGood luck and bless you.
Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry to hear about all the struggles you have gone through and still are. You seem like such a strong and positive person! I'm impressed at how well you seem to handle it all. Thoughts and prayers are with you!
ReplyDeleteHi Meaghan - I read the article. I have seen how well you decorate cookies, but had no idea that you sure are one strong cookie.
ReplyDeletewow. You have been thru so much.
ReplyDeleteWill keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Meaghan - it's been far too long since I've visited you... I apologize. Just read your article - if you can live through it, I can stomach it, it's okay.
ReplyDeleteJust wanted you to know you have my love and admiration. I began reading here in 2008 - you inspired me to bake and decorate sugar cookies. Today, you inspire me in another way - I have a body that is whole and perfectly functioning but I do not treat it kindly. I starve it, I over-eat just because I don't like the way it looks. I was meant to find your post today - a reminder that I need to get my head out of my a*s and remember how truly blessed I am. I imagine you would love to have my body... Lumps, and all.
My love to you sweet girl.
Janet